The Chronicles of the Life of Ryan Evans on a Satu
by LucasLuvin
Summary: Follow Ryan Evans through his daily routine.. FUNNY!


**Helllooo, my loyal readers..**

**Before I start this fanfiction, I would like to apologize for something**

**If you have read my stories before, you would most likely know that I haven't updated any of them since school started again.**

**I am honestly and truely sorry about that.**

**Between homework, school, and my social life, I haven't had much time lately to write anything but numbers and reports... ugh..**

**This Christmas I recieved a personal computer and I believe now that I will be able to write my stories on the weekends.. and stuff like that.**

**And since today happens to be a weekend, I think I will start now.**

**Fresh. A fresh start.**

**New stories.**

**And now I will begin because I'm sure most of the people who are reading this fic have already passed up this part and skipped to the actual story part.**

(Begin time: 6:15:16 PM, Friday, January 12, 2007)

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The Chronicles of the Life of Ryan Evans on a Saturday 

7:oo AM:

I wake up, and select the hat to wear today. Quite a decision. I decide to be a rebel today, and go hatless. I will pay for this, for I have sinned..

Note to self: Hatless is a Sin

I cook bacon and and biscuits for me and Sharpay to eat. Attempt to lick my elbow. Attempt failed.

7:3o AM:

I open the front door to check the weather. I find a rather suspicious looking package waiting for me. I open it, carefully. Inside a find a dead chicken, stiff, and staring at me. I close the box and store it in my room.

7:45 AM:

Watch the BackYardigans marathon. I like the penguin.. Pablo.

10:oo AM:

Sharpay wakes up and takes a shower. I seize the opportunity that she is away. While she is in the shower, I place the dead chicken behind a large stuffed panda in the corner of her room.

11:oo AM:

I check my calendar for my daily activity. Today I have marked as "Terrorize Sharpay." Oh the thrills I shall have!

11:37 AM:

Attempt once again to lick my elbow. Attempt failed.

12:oo PM:

I watch a documentary with Sharpay about Mark Tatum, the guy who got his eyes and nose removed when he got an infection of the sinus cavity. Ok, now this guy's eyes are completely gone. Sharpay asks, "Hey, can he see?" It's times like these when I just want to slap her soo hard with a raw fish! Or a goose..

1:3o PM:

I run to grocery store and buy 2 large bags of coffee beans.

1:45 PM:

In celebration of "Terrorize Sharpay" day, I fill her underwear drawers (which were suprisingly full) with coffee beans. I leave the underwear in the drawers (There is no way I'm gonna touch that). I also stuff the majority of her shoes under her bed.

2:oo PM:

Zeke comes over. That guy creeps me out. I mean the cookies and stuff makes him seem so innocent, but deep inside, he's soo freaking perverted and whacked out.

3:oo PM:

I wish I were a mongoose. And I wish I could lick my elbow. Attempt to lick elbow. Attempt failed. Attempt to become a mongoose. Attempt failed.

3:45 PM:

I watch Rent again. This is my 56th time!

5:45 PM:

I engage in a 30 minute arguement with Sharpay on whether or not blind people should be in the army. She claims that, "They shouldn't be left out just cuz they're blind! They can still shoot a gun just like anyone else!! They just don't know where the bullet is going..."

6:15 PM:

I wade in a pool of my own boredness. And eat Pizza Pop'ems. Engage in 27 minute arguement with Sharpay over whether they are pronounced Pizza Pop'ums or Pop'ems. .I say Pop'ums, Sharpay is just weird.

7:oo PM:

Sharpay and I attempt to lick our elbows. Sharpay succeeds, I fail. We attempt to become mongooses. Attempts fail.

7:15 PM:

Sharpay and I Google "How to become a mongoose." We try out a witchcraft potion, which calls for some very _interesting _ingredients. Potion fails.

8:oo PM:

I convince Sharpay that there are little people living inside of her. I have absolutely no idea how I did so.

9:3o PM:

Sharpay and I engage in quite an interesting comversation.

"Ryan, I was working on my algebra homework, and I just had a few questions."

"Shoot."

"Why are there coffee beans in my underwear drawer? Why are 3/4 of my shoes under my bed? And why is there a dead chicken in the corner of my room?"

"What does that have to do with algeb-"

"Just answer them!!"

"It's Terrorize Sharpay Day!"

"I should have guessed.."

10:oo PM:

I attempt to lick my elbow.

4:37 AM:

SUCCESSS!!!!!!!!!!!

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(End time: 4:59:07 PM, Saturday, January 13, 2007) 

**Sooo... you like?**

**Not sure if this is gonna be a series or a oneshot yet.**

**If I get bored I'll probably write more. Which will probably be a while.**

**Unless I get an overwhelming amount of amazing reviews. That usually motivates me.**

**But this weekend I have to write a report about AIDS so I prob won't have anytime to write it this weekend.**


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